I could get lost in the details. Pulled into perfection. Miss the feeling. Trapped searching for the perfect square inch. I feel myself creeping towards it. 

I need to back away. Embrace who I am. See the whole picture. Accept myself and how I move paint across the space. The little pieces come together. 

Why am I painting this? Is it to photo-recreate? Or capture the feeling of a heat heavy day, sweat drenched back, but it’s ok because here I am seeing this. I am seeing this for the first time and it’s beautiful.

In this shady corner is it the details that I love or the whole moment wrapped up with a bow. The camera captures it all. I feel the need to capture it all, but my body resits. I do not wish to paint each flower and their petals. I cannot capture it all. 

How do you paint a feeling? I just want to swish paint around, eyes dancing around the canvas. Today I’m not into details. And for me that’s probably a needed break. 

If all is in focus, then is anything really the focus? I want to feel like her. Head back, breathing in life. Maybe that should be my focus.